Postmodern Pentathalon

Hey folks,

So I got curious about the Modern Pentathlon, for my sins, entirely because of those photos that are going around. You know the ones.

In the process of this, I discovered that the jumping portion of the program is performed on a randomly drawn horse, sort of like what if rodeo except throw in some oxers and a water jump. That’s terrifying.

The Modern Pentathlon is supposed to reflect the skills a modern soldier needs, as the traditional pentathlon reflects the skills you’d need to be, you know, a Spartan warrior. (And the biathlon, as we joke around here, was invented by Finnish guerillas: ski to the Russian border, shoot at the Russians, ski home again.)

But the Modern Pentathlon is 110 years old now, so what was modern then isn’t so modern now. Which led me to thinking about what 21st century military skills would be included in the Postmodern Pentathlon.

This is what I came up with in ten minutes of avoiding my work this afternoon:

  • Humping a ruck

  • MRE component trading

  • Coffee drinkathon

  • IED disposal

  • Drone obstacle course and target shooting

What would yours be?